Wield vs Chawton, Sunday 13th May
Weather - Beautiful sunshine, it promised so much
Match summary – Wield re-run some of last year's stellar performances
A start-of-the-season classic: the weather was sunny and the sky largely clear, which meant that any heat in the sun went somewhere else. Svalbard would have been warmer. Wield arrived at just after the start to find the Chawton team already waiting on the field and after a quick toss which didn’t go Yorkey’s way we were fielding. Going against tradition, or maybe because the bottom of the talent barrel had been scraped too much already Yorkey put himself on bowling with the wind with Michael at the other end. Chawton stuttered: two wickets fell swiftly as the first was run out with his pegs knocked down by an on-fire captain at backward square leg and the second couldn’t get his leg over and walked onto his stumps. He was halfway back to the pavilion before any of us realised what had happened.
At that point the runs began to flow freely and Aidan joined us from the pub, or somewhere. Catches weren’t dropped though as the batsmen had picked out Robin in the field and were firing them back over his head for sixes and fours. See Robin run; see Robin throw; and repeat. Max stood up to the stumps and intimidated the batsmen. Dougie came on with Aidan and more sixes and fours followed. This continued for a while so let me tell you what else was going on. The ground had been under water 9 days earlier so Robin had done a fine job bringing it to a playable state. The outfield grass was a little long, despite having been mowed the day before, but it was the ground itself which was interesting. Unless the ball was hit hard and flat, when it hit the ground after any up and down trajectory, it stuck. Thud and that was it. It had to be kicked out of the turf. Around and about a cuckoo was calling and the resident wrens on the south east boundary of the ground were squabbling over territory while the skylarks rose in the clear sky singing their hearts out. Blackcaps were having a go at either end and a song thrush and blackbird competed as well. A green woodpecker laughed disdainfully at one point.
The sun shone, the wind blew from the north west and all was well with Chawton until Yorkey finally unleashed the Wield Nuclear Option. Philip sauntered nonchalantly up to the crease and the looping ball rose high in the air (see “trajectory”, above), was picked up by the wind and completely foxed the batsman. He moved forward, he moved back, bat and pad together and the ball stopped at his feet. As the tumbleweed rolled down the ground Philip appealed enthusiastically and the umpire raised his finger. With a look of pure poison at his umpiring team-mate the batsman started the long and lonely trudge back up to the pavilion and the rest of Wield complimented Philip loudly on his pace and guile. Robin came on at the other end and promptly dropped a return catch, collapsing as the Wield sniper timed his shot perfectly. Philip worked his way through more of the batsmen with another LBW here, a catch there and before we knew it he had his five. Wield rejoiced at the thought of a jug so early in the season, and because the pub would be warm.
An orange-tip butterfly flitted along the boundary and a speckled wood was disturbed as another six crashed through the trees. Rupert was brought on and nothing eventful happened. Dougie and Aidan returned from different ends and the final two wickets fell, Jann taking a fine catch on the boundary for one of them - two balls before tea and as Richie Benaud would say Wield had to chase 222!!!.
Whatever you want to say about the Wield cricketers, the lemon drizzle cake was quite outstanding and the egg and lettuce sandwiches went down a treat. The captain found the sausages and that was them done for. Hot tea was very welcome and we gorged ourselves to get the energy levels back up to post-hibernation levels at least. Dougie went to the pub.
Our batting opened hopefully, Yorkey with Colin and a steady start got underway chasing down the 222 required. After that it was a bit rubbish really. The shadows lengthened and the umpires froze. Colin was dismissed with a fine catch and Yorkey followed shortly afterwards. From there we slipped down the hill with a monotonous inevitability. Michael and Max briefly ground out a partnership. The annoying spirit of youth bounded and frolicked in the field while the grumpy seniors offered only a token resistance. Their quicks soon gave way to their slows, which just piled further humiliation onto Wield as the wickets fell and the wind got keener. Bowled, caught, bowled again and caught yet again...and the last to fall Philip as five of Chawton’s finest danced around the wicket having brought their nemesis down.
We fell to a pathetic 62 all out at around 7.15.
Summary: A cold start but pleasant to be out in the sunshine for the afternoon. Good to hear the cuckoo. Cricket? What cricket?
Rupert Cazalet
(Head of Ornithology, Bradley Institute of Nonsense)
