Wield vs Howzat, Sunday 15th July
Weather - Well it wasn't raining!!!
Match summary – 3rd win in a row and a number of 1st's
There are not many days when you can say you are truly shocked/ dumbfounded/ amazed or for that matter rendered speechless, today was one of those days.
Wield batted first!!!
It stopped raining for the first time since Noah said lets build a big boat!!!
Somehow we played cricket (the only game in Hampshire that day)
Philip hit (a stat shattering) 2 runs
The first 13 overs Wield bowled went for 1 run!!!
And wait for it.......................... Max got married!!!!!!!!!!
(In a moment of utter insanity Angie said yes!!!)
I assume we lost the toss and with our new opposition unaware of the Wield rules, they put us in. Myself and Lord Flasheart opened the days proceedings and the partnership lasted as long as it took me to say Ed leave the wide ones alone!!!
After that there was a steady stream of appalling shots on the slowest wicket imaginable!!! Howzat brought on there only decent bowler Ben (Jack's district coach) and the wickets continued to fall including mine to a ball that stopped as if it had hit a wall and Jack who popped one back to his coach. As usual (at Wield) the spirit of Cricket (and pie chucking!!) sprung into action, with Wield on 45/6 The Skipper was fed a load of dross only to be out done by the slowness of the pitch (and the fact he might have to buy a jug!!)
With glorious sight of Philip and Max batting out the last few overs Wield somehow passed 100 but sadly reached nowhere near their combined age.
The tea was fantastic as always but slightly tainted by the appalling thought of having to field afterwards!!!
With the Wield youth policy in full swing (unlike the ball!!) Josh and Hector opened the bowling. If anyone thinks I bat slowly (which I do!!) they should have watched Howzat's reply. The only thing that happened in 13 overs was the usual byes!!! and the usual missed stumpings!!!
Finally someone hit a run!! The place erupted with ironic applause
(from everyone) and amid the excitement we got a wicket.
This stalemate continued and a couple more wickets fell until for no particular reason the oppo's number 4 smashed one into the Yew Tree, nearly killing a couple of guys having a beer!!! As we gazed upward at the flight of the ball we were blinded by an ancient rumour, some old people (Max and Philip) called it Sol, others mentioned a rarely seen yellow object and named it The Sun!!!!
With our eyes still hurting Howzat started to score some runs, Ben arrived at the crease and we knew the game was up, or so we thought. As the score rattled along to 70 all hope of an unlikely victory dissipated until Ben smashed one to deep backward square. Our thoughts turned to Icarus and the big yellow round thing until the ball hurtled downwards into Jack's hands (the ball would have had snow on it but it had melted!!!)
The tide had turned (something to do with the Sun I was told!!)
The skipper brought on his big guns (himself and me!!!!!).
The overs ticked by as did the wickets until they were 8 down. Jack took another catch and an unlikely victory was tantalisingly within our grasp. With the pitch now slower and lower than was physically possible I rapped there number 11 on the boot, the whole of wield appealed, their umpire said it was going over!!!!!
The tension mounted as I bowled the final over, 5 balls later and it was down to one ball. A beautifully flighted googly (I said) a straight one (Yorkie said) left my hand, it pitched, it died, it hit the number 11 on the shin!!! It's the plumbest LBW since the last one!!! We appeal, the umpire leans backwards and laughs!!!! Time stands still ............... until he slowly raises his finger!!!
A great game against top new opposition and Wield are on a roll!!!
Tony
