Wield vs Medstead, Sunday 19th May
The Knights of the Parish of St. James. Vs. The Knights of the Parish of St. Andrew on the 19th Day of May in the year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Thirteen, the 51st year of the reign of Our Sovereign,
Elizabeth REG, FD, Duke of Normandy.
Weather - First game so far this season where woolly hats have not been worn.
Match summary – Wield have a 100% record in all forms of the game!!!! Unfreakinbelievable!!!!!
The first drama of this match happened well before a ball had even been bowled. In typical Wield style on the Saturday morning only 4 players had made themselves available for selection. Panic ensued and with Village Pride at stake a good old fashioned whip-round was mounted. Promises of tea, fine weather and not having to either bat or bowl were made. After a day of diplomacy and blackmail the UN would be proud of by 11pm on Saturday we had….15 players.
After a rigorous selection based on a first come first served policy rather than fitness, skill or experience, and a few embarrassed apologies Wield took to the field with 11 Adonis like athletes and Appleby the dog sweeping the boundary. After the Toss (no idea who won it) Wield….*batted first*. Now I know I have been away a lot over the past few years but I’m pretty sure that’s about as unusual as a cricket pitch people toboggan on…or sail on…
And what an innings began! After a few confident strokes with more technique than the rest of the team put together Robson (the even shorter) was caught off the bowling of the irrepressible Rawlings. At the other end Toby stroked balls around with the kind of skill usually seen by 70s TV stars. Alas this flamboyant display couldn’t last and with a wild swipe Flack was bowled for 38.
Enter Tony ‘Cardboard’ Robson who ground out a chanceless, average massaging 65 n.o, even featuring the occasional boundary to the adoration of the first innings crowd of 1. During this sturdy knock Robinson came to the crease, scratched a couple of singles, hit one half decent shot and was quickly stumped after missing a ball that was neither quick, spinning, swinging nor seaming. Simeon soon strode out complete with a bat in hand that is rumoured to be appearing as a special exhibit in a local museum at the end of the season. The partnership wound its merry way towards tea, with Charles ending up with a solid 32 n.o at the interval.
Tea was excellent though Robson junior would like ‘more sausages next time’. In a worrying portent for the season Wield were significantly out-eaten for the second Sunday in a row. Much more effort is needed in this area in future boys; the sorry sight of skipper Yorke pedalling the egg sandwiches and chocolate cake around the Yew Tree is not one that should be repeated in the future. Village Honour is at stake!
Emerging from the lighter than traditional feed Wield took to the field early enough to have a short warm-up beforehand; this new-fangled practice lark seems to have filtered down even to the murky depths of village cricket. Fitting with the theory of ‘the harder we practise the luckier we get’ the Medstead wickets quickly began to tumble. Three of the top order fell to that elusive species rarely seen on the Hook; the ‘proper cricket’ wicket. A caught behind off Simon Smith and two off stumps out the ground saw ‘The Jugs’ flying high. In amongst the carnage the ever threatening Matt ‘Loréal’ Rawlings came to the crease and began to score runs for fun, leading to the first lost balls of the season. At the other end though it was the Robinio show, with two stunning catches from Britain’s #1 poultry farmer. It was only a matter of time before he was allowed to spread his wings with the ball and, winding up the pace against the 13 year old Medsteadians bowled two of them for 0.
With the match winding its way towards a winning draw the tea ladies held their breath as Rawlings managed the strike with the Frightened Rabbit at the other end. Alas for Mr Bunny farmer Smith came in with his firepower at the end, bowling the number 11 and leading to a Wield win with only two balls to spare.
Two wins in two matches both with full teams, great teas and jugs bought. Village cricket at its best.
Ben Robinson
